Thursday, August 19, 2010

Man, Fuck New Yonk


New Yonk sucks shit; I know, I went there once. It's dirty, and cold, and damp, and nashty. Nobody drives on the roads except for a bunch of stupid Egyptian cab drivers, so naturally, the streets are all fucked up like some retarded Egyptian asshole built em. Groceries are hard to come by. You have to eat fast food when you're in NY. New Yonkers, and those of the high class persuasion might call this shit fine dining, but I call it fast food. As far as I'm concerned, if you didn't make it, and you got it to-go, and it’s not a fancy dark restaurant with candles on the tables, it’s fast food.


Fuck the food in New Yonk.


And fuck Drunkin Donuts. New Yonkers swear by that shit, but it sucks. It's just donuts, people.

And fuck public transport. It’s really not that convenient.

May I ax you dis – why are New Yonkers so fucking rude?

It’s like they skipped elementary and junior high and just went to a technical school.

They know how to use computers for the email, but have no grammar and always cut (angrily) to the chase of whatever it is they want.


They’re like angry chimpanzees who know how to call, text and email. They’re very tech-savvy chimps.


Maybe it’s something in the water? New Yonk is dirty as fuck, after all.

Maybe it’s the lack of natural sunlight – since the entire city is engulfed in a dark haze.

Maybe it’s because all they eat is fast food and Drunkin Donuts.

Maybe they’re stressed out from the astronomical price of rent.

Maybe their a bunch of chimps?

No comments:

Post a Comment